Super glue

01/21/2010 at 4:00 pm | Posted in Motherhood, Small Fry | 4 Comments
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I don’t know what’s causing it, but I am feeling more bonded to Small Fry than ever before. Maybe a delay from those early days when postpartum depression prevented me from experiencing the intense connection I’d hoped for? Or is it that she’s so lovey now, that she’s communicating and holding my hand and giving kisses?

Whatever it is, it’s freaking awesome.

The other night in the bath, she decided that she wanted to wash my face. So she dipped her little hands in the water and, one at a time, grazed them gently across my cheeks, my forehead, my nose. Dip and wash. Over and over. I closed my eyes to fully savor the moment (and to prevent little fingers from jabbing me). I remember thinking, this is why I wanted to be a mother. This is it.

She tells me she loves me and puckers her lips for a kiss. She wants to show me everything, “see, mom, see,” and insists on always being close to me. Just yesterday, she played with her farm animals, standing up, leaning against my leg as I washed dishes.

The doctor says she’s at the height of separation anxiety. That may well be the scientific explanation for our closeness. But it also feels like an awakening. An understanding of just how deep love can run. A yearning to clutch this little human being to my chest and carry her through life that way.

She is my heart.

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4 Comments »

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  1. Well that is just about the sweetest thing I’ve ever read.

  2. That is a really cute story! But I wonder how dirty your face must have been that your toddler thought she needed to wash it for you.

    • Ah, yes. Leave it to Jeff to ask this pressing question.

      My best guess? Stuck to my face was probably whatever I’d just tried to feed her for dinner. Which also likely clung to my hair, too.

  3. Such a lovely post! The experience of being a mom can change so fast (lieterally from one second to the next!) or so slow (like the one you describe). It is nice to read about both, especially from moms with older babies (sorry, toddlers 😉 ).


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