Hit the road Jack!

06/29/2010 at 7:54 am | Posted in Belly to Butterfly | 3 Comments
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(This is part of Belly to Butterfly, by my sis Laura.)

Suzanne came over recently while C was at band practice. We watched “500 Days of Summer” (love Zooey!) and ate homemade blondies. Okay, we also had cookie dough ice cream. It was girls’ night … double-sweet worthy. (I love that I can call hanging with San “girls’night.”  It allows for all kinds of fun indulgences!)

We chatted for a while before hitting play. (I’m trying to get better about talking through movies…so we always leave some time at the beginning to fill each other in on life.)

This time around I had to share my latest epiphany. (Side note: I like to call any post-newborn clear thought I have an epiphany … makes it sound more grand, and not just a result of sleep!)  I realized that I don’t have to be chained to the house or O in the evenings. She goes down for sleep and more importantly, stays there … regularly now.

It’s so weird!

We’ve gotten the hang of the sleep thing so well most of the time she doesn’t even cry when we put her down.  She’s got her thumb, her blankie, her bumper to spoon and she’s set. I can even tell her goodnight and give her a kiss.  Most nights I try to squeeze in a little “Twinkle, Twinkle” or “Goodnight Moon” but I’m pretty sure she’d rather me just let her sleep. I think she loves sleep as much as I do.

Whenever I do leave I feel like I’m missing something … my phone, my bra, my baby. Just as I had to relearn eating slowly, not driving at warp speed because of a crying baby and sleeping without waking worried that she’s not breathing, I need to relearn fun … and freedom. Sometimes I sit, frozen, overwhelmed with all the possibilities … sewing, writing, dessert out, dinner out, anything out … I feel like I have to make it good as it’s my last one or something. But it’s not. I’m going to have more free time tomorrow night. And the next.

So the big question is, what the heck do I with my next evening out? And the “smaller” question of … how do I reserve some energy throughout the day to actually have the juice to be active after 8pm?!

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3 Comments »

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  1. I’m at the same point with my baby. I go to Hobby Lobby or Williams Sonoma and walk around in a daze without the diaper bag. Wild woman, this one.

    Can’t wait to see the new blog!

  2. I still feel this invisible bungee cord tugging me back to the house, back to Small Fry. All the time! I’m learning to enjoy my freedom, but I pretty much always feel like I’m “on the clock.” Guess it takes some time!

    So lucky to get to share some of your free time with you!

  3. Daze is right! The other day I was so stoked to have some free time I didn’t realize the diaper bag I’d given my “babysitter” (i.e. mom) also included my wallet and phone. Krikey!


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