The one in which I eat my words

05/23/2011 at 2:47 pm | Posted in baby sunshine, Motherhood, PPD | 16 Comments
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So things have gotten a little tougher.

Big surprise.

The very day I sent this post out into the universe, a string of bad nights settled upon us. A not-so-gentle reminder that this newborn stuff isn’t easy, no matter how mellow the baby.

But I’m okay.

We’ve adapted and come up with strategies to help everyone get a little more sleep. Marc is giving Sophie a bottle at the beginning of the night, so I crawl into bed early and don’t have to be vertical until after midnight. And unlike last time, when I lay wide awake listening to Lily’s every little noise, I’m actually able to crash between feedings now. Thank goodness.

I’ve also figured out (I think) when Sophie is full. She’ll hang out on the boob thrashing around and crying, not letting go no matter the direction her head turns. Good times. This behavior totally confused me, so I’d try to soothe her and help her eat. And as a result? Two-hour nursing sessions in which she wasn’t really eating for the last hour and a half. By my husband’s grace, we realized that she wasn’t actually hungry and that by removing her from the milk buffet and simply rocking her, she’ll pass out cold.

I’m learning.

And I’ll say it again: I’m okay.

Happy, actually.

Sure, there have been plenty of tears. And I’ll admit that in frustration, I swear up and down at least once a day to quit breastfeeding.

But I haven’t come anywhere near the slippery slope of postpartum depression.

And I already feel so connected to this baby, it’s incredible.

Still pinching myself.



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  1. I remember when Oscar was a newborn and the MINUTE I said anything online to anyone about him being asleep he would wake up the minute I hit enter. It was astounding really.

    It’s a hard time no matter how “easy” the baby is. You are amazing and I am so glad you are taking it day by day. I’ll be walking beside you soon (but not soon enough!) Can’t wait to meet her.

  2. The breastfeeding thing is tough! If I remember correctly from those early days with Ian it all got much better around the 6 week mark. Before that there was pain and tears and confusion. It gets better though! Hang in there, you are doing great!

    Here are some videos – – that demonstrate good drinking and latch if you ever need a visual. That helped me.

  3. Nursing is tough and leads to so many sleepless nights. I can’t lie; I hear my bottle feeding friends tell me about their sleeping babies and I AM SO JEALOUS. But I’m going to stick with it, waking ever 2-3 hours and all. What a pretty head of hair she has!!!

  4. I am SO glad to hear that you are able to bounce back from frustration with Sophie. No infant is ever easy, but it sounds like you are coping with it really well. Sending hugs!

  5. Thanks for this post! My baby is now 4 days old and trying to figure things out is hard even with the second baby (especially breastfeeding). My little Jake can’t seem to sleep at night, which makes for very tired parents who then have an almost 3 year old to deal with. But he can sleep like a champ during the day. I can tell that I am more calm this time, which hopefully will be better for all of us.

    Reading your posts are great and it is comforting to know that we all go through the same things and we can all get through it. I’m glad that you are doing so much better this time. I’m sure it will continue even with some bad days which are inevitable with a newborn.

  6. So thankful for your happiness.

  7. When Pippi was born and slept for hours at a time the first week home, I felt that the karmic gods were repaying me for our disastrously sleep-deprived first year with Junius.

    Then, after about 10 days, she woke up. Quit sleeping. I started crying — thought it was the disaster all over again. Turned out it wasn’t, but she did sort of come of out of that freshly newborn sleep stupor and it took more attention on my part to get her into a routine.

    Around 2-3 months old, I realized I was doing these marathon nursings around 5:30 or 6 and it was making me crazy. When I told a friend with a baby just a few weeks older, this was her response: “Well, after nursing for 2 hours, is she sleeping for 6 hours? No? Well then stop doing that!”


    Learned (eventually) that if I took her into the dark, quiet bedroom and nursed her for a more normal, but long time (like 45 minutes), then she nursed better and slept longer (not 6 hours, but maybe 4).

    Hang in there. It really is better.

  8. You’re awesome. So happy for your happiness! She is so cute!

  9. Hang in there girlfriend Auntie julie will be there soon to help with those middle of the nighters! Love you guys!

  10. You are so sweet! Honestly, when I read “that post” it reminded me to suck up the first few days because just when I think it’s a different type of magically calm baby, boom. Have to find the trick. I never found it with the first and cried with him for months. The second was soothed by my husband shooshing in her ear until he was close to passing out. So next time, I pray I find the trick as soon as you have! Sheesh! Like you have time to read all this. I bet your sniffing that sweet soft baby hair right now! Enjoy your bliss.

  11. Hi! I just came accross your blog and I love it! Your daughters are adorable! I don’t have any kids but I can’t wait until I do. What a blessing they are!

    It’s also nice to find other people on WordPress because sometimes I feel like everyone is on

    Keep enjoying your new lil’ blessing. =)


  12. Breath, eat, sleep, cry, hug, repeat. And then all of the sudden they are elevendy years old.

    • Best comment ever. And just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you!

  13. you’re learning! and so much faster this time around, i bet!

  14. You are so right, the fact that it’s not tough (as last time) does not mean it’s easy. Being a nursing mom of two must be very hard! You are brave and I am really excited to read that things working out better this time. love, a

  15. I’m late to this but glad to have caught it on DailyBuzz – this is great news. Learning is good. Feeling better about how you’re doing is good. Being able to sleep is good. Happy for you šŸ˜‰

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