Confessions of a zombie mom

07/13/2011 at 8:41 am | Posted in Motherhood | 12 Comments
Tags: , , ,

I fantasize about my bed. Just lying in it.

I eat vanilla sandwich cookies by the sleeve.

I’ve turned my soothe-Sophie sessions into mini cardio routines. If I have to rock this baby standing up, I might as well do squats and lunges.

I’ve almost quit breastfeeding three times. But then Sophie latches so beautifully and eats so heartily and I’m reminded that it is pretty freaking amazing.

It pains me to read about babies, who at the same age as mine, are already sleeping through the night or who hardly cry. I feel robbed of the “easy baby” experience. Again.

I can’t stop kissing Sophie’s rolls.

I’m already mixing up the kids’ (and dog’s) names.

I catch myself wishing time away (you know, the old “If I can just make it to [insert baby age here], everything will be better.”) But then I remind myself how fast time is passing and try to slow down my brain. And expectations.

I could stare at my baby all day. Same goes for snuggling with Lily.

I’m cashing in some frozen breastmilk for a sleepover at my parents’ house. Because mama is desperate for more than 2-3 hours in a row.

Sometimes to soothe Sophie, I put her in the car, hit the beltline and pretend I’m driving to the beach.

I miss sweet tea. And chocolate. And cheese.

This is hard. And I’m delirious.

But happy. Really, really happy.

***********

I’m hanging out over at Suz’s Treats today, with a guest post about the BlogHer conference. Take a peek!

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12 Comments »

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  1. I completely understand you…It is hard but sooo worth it..

  2. There’s no sense in BOTH of us circling the beltline with babies in our cars. How ’bout we organize a car pool of some sort? One of us drives both babies for while the other mom enjoys some non-crying-baby time. 🙂 Just a thought…

  3. you are doing amazing! and honestly, people who brag about their “easy” babies are full of BS in my opinion! Every baby is challenging in different ways. All babies are good. Your baby is perfect. Hang in there!!!

  4. I haven’t had an easy baby with either of my girls. Lucy wants to be held all the time (even when sleeping) and she wakes up every 2.5 hours. So, yeah. I hear you on a LOT of this stuff.

    I’m kind of impressed by the idea of exercising while you soothe the baby though. I might try that. Maybe. When I don’t feel so run down.

  5. Your last two lines are the best two lines ever to describe mommyhood esp with a newborn.

  6. Hang in there momma! And there ain’t nothing wrong with that many ice cream sandwiches. You’ve earned it! 🙂

  7. You are not alone! I struggle to get out of bed every day – I just want a few more minutes of quiet and sleep! I want to be able to do more with my maternity leave than run errands and hold my baby. He wants to be held all the time. And then I have to stop and think, this is why I’m on maternity leave – to take care of my baby and hold him. It won’t last forever, but I have gotten into the trap of, once he’s 3 months or 6 months things will get easier. It happens to all of us. But I need to slow down since he is my second baby and last!

  8. I used to cringe when I heard my friends talking about their perfect little babies sleeping through the night when I was up all night trying to soothe a collicky baby…now my son sleeps like a rock through the night and now their having problems…so there.
    You’re doing a good job momma!

  9. The beltline drives — that brought back memories! Maybe the “easy baby” thing is a myth. (My confession: I guilty slept with Ga on a mattress on the floor til she was a year and a half, because it was easier than what I thought I “should” be doing. I have since learned that “should” is not such a nice word.)

    Hang in there! You have such beautiful children, and you are such an awesome mom.

  10. I have that easy baby. Guess what my trade off is? While she is an awesome night sleeper and has been since we brought her home…she rarely naps during the day. And if she does? It’s a cat nap, max 45 minutes and that’s if I am really lucky. And now I’ve had to go on a nondairy diet. Hang in there…because even those of us with easy babies? We have something else that totally sucks!

  11. Our old adage from college “you can sleep when you’re dead” has a whole new meaning once you have a baby. Joe’s nearly 10 months and still wakes at least once a night, and my nerves can’t “ferberize” (what if he’s sick, what if he’s teething…etc). Just the onus of being a mom I guess. Hang in there, you’re doing fine! At some point you will get more sleep-it just might be when Sophie goes off to college! ;)-

  12. Your comment regarding mixing up names strikes home for me….my mom used to do it all the time and I find myself doing the same…”Gizmo, I mean AJ, Petyon…JACKSON! Yes, you are the one I mean!” LOL


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