Hiatus12/02/2011 at 8:52 am | Posted in weight loss | 21 Comments
Tags: baby weight, diet, dieting, healthy eating, weight loss
The scale has become my worst enemy.
It confuses me, angers me, and mostly just makes me want to hurl it out a window.
I actually lost weight over Thanksgiving. Four pounds down by Sunday. And then, after a week of careful eating, moderate activity and generally healthy habits, those four pounds came right back. How? Why?
This might sound like a cop-out, but I’ve been reading a lot online about the effect of my PPD anti-depressant on weight gain. Turns out that many, many people experience significant weight gain on this particular medication, and some studies have shown that it slows metabolism and increases appetite. Great.
So, my dilemma: skinny and anxious or fat and happy?
I thought that cutting my dose in half would make a difference. I’ve been meaning to taper back down, now that I’m six months postpartum and feeling so good. It’s too soon to tell if this will change anything (in my mental health or otherwise).
And of course, I need to exercise. There is no excuse.
Oh, but there are excuses.
I just can’t justify getting up any earlier in the morning. Sophie is still waking every night, and the sleep deprivation is crushing. And in the evenings, there is no break in the pick-up-make-dinner-baths-books-bed routine. So that leaves my lunch hours. My precious lunch hours. The only time of the week that is exclusively for me. I don’t have to be a mommy or a wife or an employee. I get to call the shots. My favorite thing to do is sit with my book over a salad that I didn’t prepare.
I treasure those breaks, and I’m not ready to give them up.
But, without a way to exercise while I’m home with the kids (until we purchase a double stroller), this is it. I need to get out and move my body at lunchtime.
My goal is to start walking. I work on a college campus, so there are lots of sidewalks and plenty of good hills. I figure I can pound out a brisk half-hour, then eat lunch at my desk.
In the meantime, I’m going to give myself a break here on the blog. No more Friday Weigh-Ins until the new year. I hope by then to be able to report on weight loss, exercise and feeling good about myself.
Because I don’t. Especially after seeing photos of myself from last night’s Posy launch party.
But I just can’t handle the stress (that I created for myself, go figure) of weekly weigh-ins.
You’ll still be here in January to cheer me on, right?