Confessions04/18/2012 at 1:00 pm | Posted in me | 12 Comments
I’ve been feeling a little off lately. So it’s time for a brain-dump.
Here goes …
I’m sad that I’m not going to have another baby. I know our family is complete, and that brings me immense joy and a wonderful sense of peace. But every time I get my period, it feels like an ugly little reminder that my body won’t carry another child. I hope this feeling goes away soon.
I have dreams about cupcakes. And pizza. True story.
I also have crazy, terrifying apocalyptic dreams from which I wake up and have to orient myself to reality. And most recently, I dreamed that I’d joined the military and had a nervous breakdown during boot camp. Where is this stuff coming from?
As only I could do, I’ve managed to totally stress myself out about running. Pace, distance, times, races. It’s too much. So I’m trying to stop the silliness and just exercise the way I like to do it … by walking up a storm and running here and there if I feel like it. I also busted out an old-school aerobics step, and I can already tell a difference in my butt. (Butt butt butt. You’re welcome, spammers.)
Will I ever feel like I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew? You know, in life?
I can’t stop buying trash magazines. US Weekly, People, you name it. But every time I finish one, I feel yucky. Really must stop buying these.
My new standard for cleanliness in our house is “clean enough.” We’ve hit all new levels of sticky — especially in the kitchen — and I just can’t seem to keep up.
I also dream about cheeseburgers.
What’s on your mind?