Needle and thread

05/23/2012 at 3:01 pm | Posted in Motherhood | 2 Comments

There are certain times — little glimmers of moments — that stop me in my tracks and remind me I’m a mother. Not a little girl playing grown-up. Or even the 18-year-old I still feel like I am in many ways. But an honest-to-goodness mother.

Bending down to fasten shoes.

Wiping little faces with my spit.

Cutting blueberries into quarters.

And last night, sewing.

Let me preface this by saying I am most definitely not a sewer. I ship all repair work off to the other women in my family, even buttons. Pitiful. So when Lily’s dance teacher advised us to “tack down” the ribbons on her recital costume, my heart sank. Another project I have to dump on Laura or my mom.

True to form, I carried the little rainbow-colored leotard up to my room and put it in “the spot” so I wouldn’t forget to ask for help. Then I carried it downstairs days later to give to Laura. Then I forgot. Then I hung it in Lily’s closet because the recital was still weeks away so why not? Then I brought it downstairs again, where it stared at me from its perch on the kitchen counter, right beside my purse and the diaper bag.

Until last night.

For whatever reason, I got out my little sewing kit, found some hot pink thread and a needle and sat myself on the couch. And I sewed. I just looped and looped and looped over each little knot, securing them to the dress. Those suckers aren’t going anywhere, no matter how much Lily shimmies on stage.

And when I finished, I felt proud. Motherly. This little flicker of realization skated through my mind and filled my heart, however briefly.

This is real.

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2 Comments »

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  1. Another reason to love you.
    Also,
    Sigh…. To be a girl mom….

  2. That’s awesome. It’s all about believing in yourself!


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