Oh the places I've nursed!

09/19/2011 at 3:29 pm | Posted in baby sunshine, Motherhood | 9 Comments
Tags: baby, bebe au lait nursing cover, breastfeeding, Motherhood, nursing, weaning

I sense that my breastfeeding days are numbered.

Pumping at work is just not working. And I’ve been trying to gradually wean Sophie to nighttime feedings, but I must have screwed up because my production has nearly stopped cold. I can put her on the boob for comfort every now and then, but I’m lucky to give her an ounce or two.

This has been one of the most awesome, confusing, wonderful, maddening, painful experiences of my life.

I feel privileged to have been able to feed my daughter with my body for four whole months. This is a huge accomplishment for me.

But I am sad at the same time. Grieving a loss, in a way.

I wish we could have continued; I wish my body and mind had worked out some sort of deal. But mental health and circumstance dictate otherwise.

Sophie loves the bottle. Drinks heartily, grips it with both hands, smiles up at me. So that helps.

I’ve been nostalgic with each brief feeding over the last few days. Dwelling on our experience and remembering all the wacky places Sophie has nursed, hidden underneath a swath of blue floral fabric (three cheers for Bebe au Lait).

As I wrote them down, a little rhyme started to form.

And as I say good-bye to a big chapter of my journey with Sophie, this makes me smile:

Oh the places I’ve nursed!

On the beach,
at the pool,
in bathrooms everywhere,
at both girls’ schools.

At a farm,
in the car,
at countless restaurants,
and even a bar.

On our sides,
under a cool sheet,
belly to belly,
half-asleep.

At the kitchen table,
in a hard-back chair,
on a park bench
in 100-degree air.

Inside, outside,
day or night,
in pitch black,
under fluorescent light.

While eating, while drinking,
while watching TV,
in the mountains,
by the sea.

On the floor,
in the big brown chair,
even a bowling alley,
under curious stares.

And you, my sweet girl:

Eyes closed,
toes curled,
blissed out,
in another world.